Sunday, June 04, 2006

TASK #102 Get Lasik

Ok, I had been talking about doing this for a few years now and I finally decided to get 'er done! I mean, if not now then when, right?

I arranged to take advantage of my companies flex spending program where we can put money aside from each check, tax free mind you, for a future medical proceedure.

Then I found a prominent clinic that was offering some really good deals, made a consultation appointment, and went in.
They told me I was a good candidate, and we set an appointment for a second visit.

The second visit I got there and I realized for the first time that the wall between the waiting room and the operating laser room was glass. We could see the surgeries happening!
I'm sitting there and in they walk in a 300 pound guy and direct him to lay on the table. It was like a sumo wrestler laying on a balance beam, he was so big. But that's not the funniest part. This big baby was apparently so nervous, he'd brought his teddy bear, which was tightly held and perched on his huge gutt, as he lay there. Mind you, he must have been 30 or older.
They crank on the machine, do something to his eye, then rotate him under the laser. A light crackling noise is audible through the glass wall, for about 1 minute, then they move him and it goes for another minute. They put drops in his eye, remove the gadget on his face, and sit him up. That's it!! He was done in like 4 minutes total.

They call my name to go to the back, and apparently they forgot to tell me that they were going to need to dialate my eyes to scan them for the computer, so it could provide custom parameters to the laser system, supposedly giving me a better outcome. I'm like, sure. That is until I finish and my eyes really start dialating. The world began to brighten, and brighten, and pretty soon, it feels like I can only see by squinting. They give me a plastic curl that amazingly unfolded into a shield I can slip between my glasses and my eyes - much like sunglasses, except I look like a total idiot.
But at this point the light is so glarring I'd have been happy putting a glad bag over my head and driving home that way. Anyways, I set the appointment for the actual surgery, and squint my way home.

The day of the operation, we went in and was put into a room with two other guys waiting their turn. We got a speech about staying still and listening to the doctors instructions. They put name tags on us upside down - not sure what that was about.

more later....

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